Every man is unique and they each have slightly different likes, dislikes and varying sensitivity in various parts of their bodies. We at SexInfo101 can't stress enough how important communication is in a sexual relationship. The only way to deliver the most pleasure imaginable to your partner is to learn their body and communicate. By trying different things and seeing how he responds, you can find what works best for him . so experiment. Keep your hands moving and exploring his body, the skin is not only the largest organ of the body, but every square inch of it contains thousands of nerve endings. Don't be afraid to ask him what he likes and try to be open-minded to his response . you might be surprised by what turns him on!
There are two very pleasurable spots in and around a man's anus. The first location is the anus itself; it is surrounded by a large number of nerve bundles and is very sensitive. The second is the prostate gland; it is located a few inches inside the anus towards the belly button, and often feels like a firm bulge.
Some men are not very open to experimentation with this body part, as enjoying it may make them question their sexuality. As stupid as this may sound, it is a result of the prejudice and lack of understanding in today's society. In any event, make sure to communicate with your partner to avoid bad reactions. If your partner refuses, don't force him, but try to open him up to the idea by exploring the area more often with your hands. He'll slowly get used to being touched around there, and it won't seem as big of a deal. And remember, by stimulating the prostate gland as he gets close to climaxing, you can give him an orgasm three or more times as intense!
Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of this form of play. A bath or a shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. Once your finger(s) or sex toy has been inside his anus, don't put them anywhere else until you wash them. Carelessness in this regard can cause a very serious infection. Make sure to have a good lubricant, and start as slowly as possible the first few times.
Be sure to clip your fingernails quite short before doing any type of penetration, especially anal. The lining of the rectum is thin, and can be torn by sharp objects. If you have longer fingernails, you can pack some cotton balls around your fingernails and put on a latex glove.
Once you get lubricated, you want to start by taking it really easy. Most people who have never had any anal play will tense their sphincter muscles. If they are tensing, do not try to push through, as it will cause a lot of pain and discomfort. Instead, make little circles around his anus and wait for him to relax. Once he starts relaxing, gently try moving your finger in and out a little. Start shallow and slowly move deeper, just make sure to watch his reactions and facial expressions to see if you are going too fast. Once you get inside, you can do a variety of things, including: twisting your hand, pulling in and out, moving in large circles following the wall of the cavity, or stimulate specific spots with little circles. The most effective use of anal play is definitely right at orgasm. If you have a finger inside stimulating his prostate when he reaches an orgasm, you will send him to another world of pleasure, one that he will most likely be asking you to help him revisit.
Before engaging in analingus, make sure to thoroughly wash the area. Once clean, licking this area of the body is virtually no different then licking any other, and can be very stimulating for your partner. Like other play in this area, don't just jump right in, build up to them and allow for your partner to get comfortable. A great way to start performing analingus is to move into it when you are performing fellatio. The area is really sensitive, so run your tongue around in circular motions, use your tongue to tickle, and when you are both ready for it, even to penetrate.
Access to his anus is a little tougher than to his penis, but there are several positions that are ideal; lying on his back with a large pillow to arch his bum up, him bent over with legs spread, him standing with you kneeling, and him upside down with his legs spread.
Anal sex is quite a different ball game than using your finger. Even if he enjoys and requests you to pleasure him there, he may be apprehensive about putting something so large as a dildo in there. The keys to success are sufficient (i.e. copious amounts of) lubrication, relaxation on his part, and a slow, gentle approach. Let him tell you when he wants it harder or faster and don't be shy about playing with his penis at the same time. For more on this please see the Anal Intercourse section.
A butt plug is a toy that is inserted in the rectum. Once inserted, you can leave it where it is or move it in and out. Many people enjoy the sense of fullness that butt plugs bring, much in the same way women enjoy the fullness experienced during vaginal sex. Others enjoy the sensation of inserting something in their anus.
Butt plugs come in many different shapes and sizes. Some of the sizes seem silly, but some people are obsessed with larger toys, so the companies willingly accommodate. The most popular plugs are less than an inch in diameter, and roughly 4 inches long.
Beads are some of the most popular anal toys. They range from soft to firm-textured, usually consist of four to ten balls connected with a piece of nylon cord or plastic/rubber, and there are a wide selection in ball sizes. Whichever type you are interested in, they are virtually the best toys to ease into anal play.
Climax beads are a very simple toy to use. After being covered by lubricant, they are inserted into the anus bead by bead. Most people then leave the beads where they are until near the point of orgasm, at which time the beads are pulled out one by one. This can greatly intensify an orgasm to the point that it is too intense to handle. We suggest starting with smaller balls, and then moving up, as you get more experienced.
And like everything else involved with anal play, cleanliness is of the highest importance. Make sure to clean your toy thoroughly after using it, store it in a dry dust free place, and be very gentle when starting out.
Bundles of nerve endings are in and around the ears, making them ultra sensitive to your touch. Use the pads of your index finger and thumb to massage the outer ears with slow, firm movements. Gently squeeze the earlobes. Explore the area behind the ear with your lips and tongue, and then blow lightly. Don't be shy about making noise while you're lingering there -- the sound of your breath and moans is a huge turn-on for most men.
It is very unlikely that a man will not enjoy kissing his partner. The more you kiss the better. Lips are sensitive and for men it is easy to get him aroused just from kissing. Kissing lets him know that there is (probably) more "good stuff" ahead and that starts his mind fantasizing.
The neck is always a great place to turn on your partner. There are several things to keep in mind here, most importantly controlling yourself. Hickies may have been the big thing when you were younger, but most men hate them, especially when they have to wear turtlenecks for a week! (If you must suck for blood, keep the hickies to places that are usually covered by clothes). Try to have a moist mouth, but don't slobber! Cover different areas of his neck with tender kisses, using the areas under/behind the ears for extra stimulation. Light nibbling and tugging usually work really well also. Start out soft and gentle; as he gets into it, slowly go harder and wilder to release his beast within.
The scalp can be very sensitive to stimulation, and since he's probably not expecting you to give any attention to it, surprise him. Many men like to have a gentle head massage or scratching, so if you have nails, gently run your hands through his hair in circular motions while lightly scratching his scalp.
To many men, the chest is one of their favorite body parts. To appreciate it is to appreciate the man. Massage it and occasionally whisper how much you love how hard it is (especially if your man works out). Nipples are highly sensitive and should be sucked and nibbled on. Just remember to start out a little slower and work up to harder techniques. Watch for discomfort, some partners have a lower pain threshold then others, so again, communicate.
Inner thighs are always a great place to turn your partner on, as they don't get touched much during every day life. Whether it is touching, kissing, licking, or nibbling, virtually everything you do around this area will feel good.
This is the pinnacle of stimulation for a man. The glans head is the purplish, mushroom shaped mass at the top of a man's penis. This is the most sensitive part of his body and concentrating on it is the easiest way to get him off. Men with foreskin have a more sensitive glans head and sometimes need to be handled more gently.
The perineum is the area between the scrotum and the anus. There are a lot of nerve endings there and it is quite responsive to gentle fondling. For a smoother experience, try using a little artificial lubricant or massage oil. You may want to try vigorously massaging the perineum just prior to orgasm; this gives many men a rush of pleasure.
The Anus has a large number of nerve endings surrounding it and it is very sensitive. The proper stimulation of this area can heighten a man's pleasure. Please see the anal play section for more details.
The scrotum is the sack that holds the testicles. This is a very sensitive and very fragile part of a man's body. Applying too much pressure to the testicles will cause immense amounts of pain. This does not mean to stay away from them; it just means to be very gentle. To really get your man going, fondle his testicles gently in one hand. Even more erotic and far more appreciated is to lightly suck or lick the scrotum (try getting one or both testicles in your mouth and humming).
Fellatio is oral sex performed on a man. It is a great way to give pleasure; regardless of whether it is for foreplay, after play, or the main event. Like all other sexual skills, they must be learned, so communication is highly recommended. Whether the communication is before, during, or after, it is essential to learn the art. Finding out what he likes will invariably go a long way towards performing mind-blowing oral sex.
Keep in mind, when you are performing oral sex, you are doing this for him. Sending negative vibes about not wanting to or how much of a chore it is will take away from his experience. If you act enthusiastic, chances are it will be over faster, and it will be your turn to receive. If you are really against performing fellatio, explain to your partner why you don't, and don't allow him to force you if you are uncomfortable.
Cleanliness is essential with virtually all forms of sexual play; particularly in oral sex where a bad taste or smell will undoubtedly dampen enthusiasm on the part of the giver. A bath or shower is a great primer, and can be the start of the festivities. If you are uncomfortable with a particular smell that your partner may have, suggest taking a shower with you, because you've had a busy day and don't feel clean. You don't want to point out the smell (unless it is a very common occurrence and can be prevented), as that will only lead to anxieties and take away from the overall experience.
Finding an agreeable position for fellatio is usually not a difficult task. Both the man receiving fellatio and the person performing fellatio need to be comfortable. For deep throating, it is wiser to choose a position where the angle of the penis and the angle of your throat are somewhat aligned. For a better look at positions for oral sex, have a look in our sexual position section.
Too often oral sex is initiated by sucking on the penis. To achieve a more powerful orgasm, it is better practice to start with some teasing. With the exception of a quickie, fellatio should be started with some well placed teasing. Start by kissing and licking around his penis, on the inner thighs, then on to his testicles, and then slowly up his shaft towards his glans (the head of his penis). Once you get there, use your tongue to tickle him around the glans, and especially on his frenulum, the split on the underside of his penis. At this point, he should be hard as a rock and super-sensitive to everything that you do. You can continue teasing if you like, but we don't recommend teasing too long, as this can become frustrating for the receiver.
One common problem women performing fellatio make is using only their mouth to repeatedly stroke his penis. They continue doing this until either it works, or they get a sore jaw and neck. A good "blow job" should not be too repetitive, should include stroking using a hand and the exploration of his testicles, thighs and (if you and he like) the anal region. By mixing up your style, you allow your muscles to relax, you can avoid getting a sore neck and you can improve your performance.
How you mix it up should depend on what your partner's likes. Although there is a lot to say about fellatio that can get the job done in a matter of minutes, it is the longer ones that usually result in more intense orgasms, and coincidently are remembered. (Click here to read about stroking techniques).
It is a good idea to keep an eye on his scrotum (his testicle "sack"), as it is usually a good indicator of how close he is to coming. As a guy gets closer to climax, the skin on his scrotum tightens and pulls his testicles towards his body to warm them up. You can let this happen on its own, or help out by stimulating his testicles with a hand, tongue, or mouth.
Once you get the basics, and are comfortable and experienced with them, there are a lot of options to increase the pleasure. One option is using lubricants on his shaft. This will allow you to stroke faster without causing irritation. There are a wide variety of products that can be used,this includes: flavored lubricants, lubricants that heat up when blown on or rubbed, water based, oil based and many others. On this note, using whipped cream, spreads, and other food can also be incorporated to make the "blow job" more erotic.
Sex toys can add more stimulation. Whether it is a regular vibrator, a vibrating cock ring, or an oral simulator, these toys can greatly intensify the stimulation. These days, there is virtually a sex toy for everything and everyone, so check out our toy store to find a product that is perfect for you.
If your man likes to experiment, we recommend stimulating his prostate gland with your finger or an anal toy to take his orgasms to a whole new world of pleasure. For more information on this, please refer to the anal play article.
Another more difficult to master skill is deep throating. In this, the performer takes the entire penis into the mouth and down the throat - hence the name. In many cases, the sensation is so intense that climax in men comes quickly. As enjoyable as this may be, it takes time to learn to control your gag reflex. You can train your gag reflex by trying to take as much of the penis as you can when performing fellatio. Your partner should restrain from any thrusting during this exercise! With time, you will be able to go deeper and deeper, until finally you'll be able to take the whole thing.
Most men find it very erotic to have a partner swallow their semen, but if you really don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it. Options include: catching it in your mouth, then spitting it out; using a tissue to catch it; or, just letting it shoot and clean up the mess afterwards. To find out more about semen, we suggest reading our article on male ejaculation.
Many women stop performing fellatio right after their man ejaculates. Instead, you should continue to gently stimulate orally or with your hand for a minute or two longer. After a climax, the penis becomes much more sensitive, so try giving it to him a little longer. Be careful though, some men find this after-play too intense to handle.
Very few men like the feeling of teeth on their penis. Teeth can cause discomfort, cuts, and scratches to the skin if you are not careful. This is easily avoided by tucking your lips around your teeth before you take the penis in your mouth.
The use of condoms is highly recommended in the practice of safer sex. If you are not sure of your partner's sexual history, it is strongly advised that you use a condom while performing any sexual act. If you want something a little more interesting try using a flavored condom and by all means stay away from the lubricated variety (the lubricants used on condoms taste horrible). A good suggestion for anyone using a condom during fellatio is to buy a flavored lubricant to turn a normal latex condom into a tasty condom. The normal rubbery taste of a regular condom can be all but eliminated by unrolling, washing (with mild soap and water), rinsing, drying and re-rolling (if for later use).
Hand jobs are a great way to pleasure your man. They can be used by themselves, or while performing oral sex on your partner. Below is a listing of hand job techniques, mostly gathered from alt.sex.faq. Although not necessary, it is better to perform these using a lubricant.
With one hand, pull the shaft's skin toward the base and wrap the fingers of this hand around the base to act as a cock ring. Using the other hand, rhythmically pick various points along the shaft of the penis and squeeze opposite sides of the penile shaft at these points, releasing pressure either immediately or after only a brief period of time.
Rub the penis between both palms, as if rubbing two sticks together to create fire. Be sure to use plenty of oil.
Hold the penis in one hand with the head sticking up. Using the well-oiled palm of your other hand, slowly and sensitively massage the glans head. Reverse directions every once in a while.
With the penis resting on the man's stomach, take one hand and cup the testicles. Then glide the heel of the palm of the other hand up and down the underside of the penis.
Pull the skin of the penis toward the base with one hand. With the other hand, corkscrew the penis. This can be done with the thumb and first finger or with your entire grip.
Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top, all the way to the bottom. When you hit the bottom, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the top of the penis and repeat.
Place both of your hands side by side against his shaft like a pair of bookends. Now push hard against his penis. Then lift your hands up and down.
Turn the head of his penis like you're trying to open an oily doorknob. Now try turning the other way. Repeat. This stroke is sometimes improved by using the other hand to stretch the skin of the penis toward the base.
Bring your well lubricated hands down on his shaft. Some penises are so big they require both hands; if your partner's doesn't, then use the other hand to caress and lightly flutter his testicles, or tighten around the base of his shaft. If both hands fit along the length of the shaft then move them together, up and down, in the typical pumping motion. Pretend you're holding a baseball bat and are about to score a grand slam. You can also vary the directions of your hands: one up, one down at the same time.
Start with one hand lightly grasping the bottom of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the bottom all the way to the top. When you hit the top, release the penis. Meanwhile, bring your other hand to the bottom of the penis and repeat.
Start with one hand lightly grasping the top of the penis. Then stroke the penis from the top all the way to the bottom, letting his penis "penetrate" into your fist on each stroke. Before the head of his penis pops out of your hand, bring the other hand up for the next penetration. This way it seems to him like he is penetrating deeper and deeper into an infinite vagina. Make sure you keep the penetration continuous.
Make a ring with your thumb and forefinger and pump up and down with it. When you get to the top close the ring. Then make him squeeze his way in as you slide back down to the bottom.
Stroke only his shaft, ignoring his glans head. You will notice his glans head swelling and turning red. When it's bright red, use Doorknob, Glans Head Massage, or Perpetual Penetration.
Take the penis in both hands, fingers lightly touching the sides of the shaft. Now flick the penis back and forth between your two hands by holding onto the loose skin of the shaft. Do this stroke for a while to allow tension to build.
Lightly and slowly run a finger up the underside of his penis. Ask him to tell you where the most sensitive spot is. Pinch, squeeze, nibble and tease that spot.
The formal definition of male ejaculation is "the release of semen from the penis". During sexual stimulation, semen collects in the ejaculatory ducts located where the vas deferentia join seminal vesicles within the prostate gland. When stimulation reaches climax, a spinal reflex causes contractions to the muscles within the penis, urethra, and the prostate gland. These contractions propel the semen through the urethra and out of the tip of the penis. Although male ejaculation and orgasm occur simultaneously in most cases, they are not the same process. An orgasm, specifically, is the rhythmic muscular contractions that are a release of accumulated sexual tension and result in an intensely pleasurable sensation.
The rhythmic contractions occur initially at 0.8-second intervals, just as in women, and account for the spurting action of the semen during ejaculation. The intervals between contractions become longer and the intensity of the contractions tapers off after the first three or four contractions. Semen usually takes a few seconds to appear . ejaculatory inevitability (the point at which stopping is impossible) . because of the distance the fluid has to travel. During ejaculation, the sphincter of the urinary bladder is tightly sealed to keep urine from mixing with the semen, as well as making sure that the fluid travels forward, or out.
There are a surprising 20 million sperm/ml of seminal fluid, and average ejaculation consists of 1.5-5ml. Semen contains aboutonia, ascorbic acid, blood-group antigens, calcium, chlorine, cholesterol, choline, citric acid, creatine, deoxyribonucleic acid, fructose, glutathione, hyaluronidase, inositol, lactic acid, magnesium, nitrogen, phosphorus, potassium, purine, pyrimidine, pyruvic acid, sodium, sorbitol, spermidine, spermine, urea, uric acid, vitamin B12, and zinc -- but all in very modest quantities. Some of this is designed to nourish the semen enroute, while other ingredients are designed to neutralize the acidic environment of the vagina (which would normally be inhospitable to sperm). In case you are wondering, most of these ingredients are indeed very healthy, and an average ejaculation contains only about 15 calories.
Since orgasms and ejaculation are separate, it is possible to have either without the other.
In situations where ejaculation occurs on its own, there are two main causes. In the first, involuntary ejaculation occurs during sleep, and is known as nocturnal emission (formally) or a wet dream (in slang). The second main cause is known as premature ejaculation (click here for a more complete explanation), which is a sexual condition in which a man consistently feels he has little or no control over the timing of his build up to ejaculation.
Orgasm can occur without ejaculation. Retrograde ejaculation is a condition where the bladder's sphincter does not close off properly during ejaculation, so semen flows into the bladder. It is commonly found in men who have multiple sclerosis, diabetes, or after some types of prostate surgery. Before you get worried, it can also occur occasionally in men who do not have any serious problems. It is not physically harmful, but it can render the man infertile and he may have a different sensation during ejaculation. This condition is also known as a "dry come" because the man may experience orgasm, but no semen is released from the penis.
There is also a condition known as retarded ejaculation, ejaculatory incompetence, or delayed ejaculation. It is a sexual condition in which a man is unable to ejaculate even though he is highly sexually aroused.
For many couples, the prostate is a largely unexplored region of recreation, and yet it can be an area of pleasure for both partners. Whether this area becomes a staple of your sexual practices is to be determined, but some initial investigation is recommended before making a decisive conclusion.
The prostate gland is centrally located inside the pelvic region of the male; it sits below the bladder and immediately in front of the rectum, wrapping itself around the urethra in order to add to the flow during ejaculation. The area between the anus and the genital 'zone' is known as the perineum, which is in close contact with the prostate gland. So not only does this little organ lend itself to hedonistic pleasure, it also actually performs a reproductive function by producing a seminal fluid that allows sperm to survive in the vaginal cavity.
Reaching the gland can be a potentially invasive procedure, involving petroleum jelly, rubber gloves (if desired), and wholehearted arousal in order to stimulate relaxation of the sphincter muscle. The stigma associated with anal penetration may be negative, depending on a person's particular background. Factors that affect an individual's readiness to delve into this sphere can range from degrees of homophobia or a fear of appearing homosexual, to simple issues of discomfort. An important point to consider is the man's willingness to engage in this affair; the more frightened, unsure, or unwilling the recipient is, and the more the incident is going to hurt, lowering the overall chance of success. Perhaps a drink or two might be required to relax inhibitions.
Though it is a voluntary muscle, the anal sphincter is designed to open upon internal pressure ... specifically, the force that is exerted from a full bowel. If gentle stress is placed on the periphery of the (well-lubricated) anus, it will perform the same action in reverse, almost sucking the finger into the rectal area. Once the finger or suitable substitute is inside the rectum about one or two inches, it must be pointed towards the ventral (stomach) region of the male and gently manipulated. In other words, if you are sitting between your partner's legs and your finger is in his anus, curl it toward yourself to facilitate the stimulation of his prostate to orgasm. Some men may need less or more specific attention to the areas in and around the rectum; for some companions, provoking the perineal surface before and during sex can promote or intensify the climax, and can form an alternative method to penetration.
An inhibiting factor to be aware of is the rectal susceptibility to infections of all kinds, especially those caused from the insertion of unclean instruments or of lubricating agents that contain low quality ingredients. Due to the vulnerability of this and other internal organs to damage, care and consideration is always warranted. Washing of the area with soap before and after the activity is a good plan, as is the use of condoms for organ penetration. Don't feel discouraged by the apparent elaborateness of preparation; anticipation is half of the enjoyment. Enjoy!